MIGHT BE OVER

I do not seek your affection as comfort, any longer.
I cannot say if I love you still, or if it is unhealthy urges burning
to reanimate an empty shell of something long dead.
I have longed to possess you, you see.
**
So when you come a knockin' again
I'm not angry or glad.
flattered a little, mostly sad
**
neither of us know how to say no
and mean it, or keep to it very long.
there's a lot of history and fun,
and damage is enjoyable
when spun to a sweetly familiar melody.
**
But you are not bad, and never have been.
just a little selfish, even as I am,
when with you.
I've loved you for a very long time,
obsessively, kindly.
and with compassion.
**
But for the first time in a long time,
I'm hearing a different melody than my own
Doors close, windows open
every loss is accompanied by gain, but not really...
but vacuum likes to be filled.
It isn't to say such casual things only
because it's pretty sounding.
**
This has been inside me a very long time.
and now I am merely being sincere.